Foolish Peeps
By George the most brilliant, stunning, perfectly designed…
(That’s enough George, get to the story. —Your secret-ary)
I’m on a Texas ranch in the middle of nowhere. It was pretty sweet when we got here. The Peeps who run the place set up a special shrine for me. That’s me on the left.
By George the most brilliant, stunning, perfectly designed…
(That’s enough George, get to the story. —Your secret-ary)
I’m on a Texas ranch in the middle of nowhere. It was pretty sweet when we got here. The Peeps who run the place set up a special shrine for me. That’s me on the left.
My PackPeeps decided to sightsee and told me to keep busy here.
Other than my secret-ary’s dogs, who are worthless, I have no company. The sleeping is good. There’s a nice big couch with a soft blanket. The dumb spaniels won’t get off. They won’t even make space for me. I will never understand their attraction. They shed, they smell bad, and they listen to commands. The only use I see for them is they are good at counter surfing when the Peeps are gone.
Other than my secret-ary’s dogs, who are worthless, I have no company. The sleeping is good. There’s a nice big couch with a soft blanket. The dumb spaniels won’t get off. They won’t even make space for me. I will never understand their attraction. They shed, they smell bad, and they listen to commands. The only use I see for them is they are good at counter surfing when the Peeps are gone.
This is a horse. They tell me that Peeps ride them. I think they are deadly predators and bark and ‘Arooo’ to make them go away. They don’t respect my authority and ignore me. Their poop can be tasty.
When I bark too much, the Peeps put me in the pen. I’m not a criminal, I’m just trying to save their lives from the big monsters. My PackPeeps are totally clueless.
I thought they wanted to protect me from the big evil horses. If so, why are they also behind fences?
Look at those big feet!
They could stomp a poor basset flat in no time. My PackPeeps are too trusting! I warn them of the danger, how can I convince them to let me get rid of the ferocious monsters?
Look at those big feet!
They could stomp a poor basset flat in no time. My PackPeeps are too trusting! I warn them of the danger, how can I convince them to let me get rid of the ferocious monsters?
These are dinner. I thought the PackParents hunted food at the grocery store. I’ve never smelltasted cows at the store. I’m not allowed to herd them to my Peeps to cook.
The PackPeeps took me to Cranky Frank’s for lunch. I didn’t smelltaste cows. They didn’t let me come in, or even lay under a table outside. In fact, I’m not sure they got me anything other than this sticker. It’s very uncomfortable stuck to my side.
This is the land they expect me to protect. Do you see a lot of places for me to mark to warn the mythical Texas monsters away? No. I have to trot for days to mark each shrub and clump of grass. Karly isn’t too happy to have to have her leash for so long. It’s not fun for me, either.
As the most brilliant perfect basset hound familiar, I tolerate my incarceration and time in this forsaken country, and continue educating my GirlPeep about healing and understanding the land. Even if I’m not sure the land wants to understand us. Now excuse me, I have to find some water, the cow patties didn’t agree with me.
George (as dictatored)
As the most brilliant perfect basset hound familiar, I tolerate my incarceration and time in this forsaken country, and continue educating my GirlPeep about healing and understanding the land. Even if I’m not sure the land wants to understand us. Now excuse me, I have to find some water, the cow patties didn’t agree with me.
George (as dictatored)
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